Super Smash Bros. Brawl comes out tomorrow. Gentlemen, please gaze upon one of the few Wii games you will still be playing several years from now. This software we are about to receive is no mere videogame, it is the life support that will be keeping the Wii alive for hardcore gamers in the coming month. You will buy this game, and you will *AWESOME!* enjoy it. It may be bad, but millions of copies will be sold and that won’t really matter. Perhaps, you do not own a Wii. If you have a 360, why not put down the *AWESOME!* Halo 3 and try something that isn’t boring. Call of Duty 4, Mass Effect, Orange Box? All great games, and you have just tossed them out the window like they were bad PS2 ports. I’m disgusted with you. But what about the PS3 gamers? Well, you could keep playing Warhawk whilst day dreaming about the cotton candy wonderland of joy and wonder you console will become in the coming months. LittleBigPlanent? MGS4? FFXIII? Maybe that will cheer you up. So go buy Smash Bros., and be happy. Or don’t. Just sit there alone in the dark with your headset on mute, wondering why your friends list has suddenly been abandoned. You know why? Because they aren’t cheap *AWESOME!* who aren’t willing to shell out $250 for what was at one point in time the future of gaming.

Also, I’m going to film the Brawl launch on a shitty cellphone that has a thirty second record time. Should be fun.

Also, yes. That is the only good midnight launch picture I could find. You’d think there would be a lot of good ones, but there aren’t.

I don’t know what to tell you two guys that read this, I really don’t. We here at the Action Team News searched high and low for worthy TeeVee/Movies for your viewing pleasure. Regretfully, we found nothing of the sort. You could, of course, still go to the movies to see the riveting tales of Semi-Pro or Be Kind Rewind. Though, I suppose that having ten dollars in your wallet would be much more satisfying. And think of it this way. Smash Bros. comes out this weekend right? Huh? Maybe that will cheer you up? Perhaps you could reward yourself with some ice cream for being a well informed consumer. And, if Comcast is your cable provider, you could celebrate standing outside a cold GameStop for several hours with a special presentation of Soul Train on the CW.

Well that’s all for now Action Viewers, perhaps tomorrow’s update won’t be at 12 AM the following day.

Ok this is old, but you know what. Shut up. I was gone and this is important to me. And to you, the loyal reader. That needs to stop talking.

Last year, former editor of GameSpot.com was fired due to unannounced reasons. Although noting was ever really revealed about Gerstman’s departure, everyone decide to blame it on Kane & Lynch and call CNet a bunch of money grubbing suits. Although Gerstmann currently isn’t involved in any professional work in the gaming industry currently, he does have several outlets for his awesome style of reporting. One of these is his blog at JeffGerstmann.net, which is a educational and informative look at Jeff’s take on the industry…sometimes.

The reason this article exists though is to inform you of Jeff’s new podcast, Arrow Pointing down. Along with fellow GameSpot employees, Gerstmann rigged up a Skype chat and recorded for ninety minutes while they talked about games or something. It is now an extremely popular and successful podcast that you should all listen to. Now go to ArrowPointingDown.com and try to not think about why I didn’t write a more informative article about this subject.

Awesome Action News Channel News Action signing out.

I’ve been gone for awhile two people who read this, as you have probably noticed. There is an explanation though. You see, there is a product known as Steam. This product, is software available on the interent. A service which you are using at this very moment.

Still following? Good.

You see, while you have to go to a store such as GameStop or Walmart to purchase games, I can do it at home from the comfort of my PC. Ingenious, no? And did I mention the part where there is no tax? Oh, what a crafty consumer I am indeed.

Now comes the important part.

There is a videogame, known as Team Fortress 2. This game is a shooter, or FPS as they are known in the industry. This particular FPS can be played online, with other people. The interesting part about this magnificent piece of data, is it’s unique ability to inflict an absurd side effect on my hardrive. It causes the computer to spew out drug laded gases, much like a bong, so that I cannot leave it’s glowing screen. A powerful marketing strategy, no?

Short version, I’m addicted to TF2.

Updates soon…hopefully.

ಠ_ಠ

I thought it would be “cool” to have a forum for anyone (like 2 people) who reads Awesome News Action Awesome Channel News Action to hang out and talk about the blog and just shit in general. I’m working on some special boards as well that should add some fun to the boring monotony that most message boards have become today. Also, I ‘ll probably add an authors page soon since I’ve been considering recruiting some new writers onto the blog to make it not suck as much. K, leave now.

Yeah so…it’s 11 and I have no idea what is going on. Like, I don’t really care right now. I’m tired and I want to be left alone. That being said, please look to the links bar. Specifically Freezecracker, Newgrounds, and Mega 64. I call these the Fall Back Trio. These are the sites I fall back one when I can’t find anything good for Extreme Action Friday. But trust me, this one is still good. Freezecracker is a site owned by Geoff Mendicino who is a kinda sorta internet celebrity. He was on that GameLife thing, he pissed some megaman sites off, he did some stuff on Destructoid; needless to say he has been around. Anyway he made this neat video site that ScrewAttack does not approve of. The main series is called the GameBoys which I can describe thusly. So take ScrewAttack. You know ScrewAttack. “We like them video games so we gonna make some videos about them!” Those guys. Take them, and then mix in MTV and a lot of Crack. That is this shit. If you like that kind of humor, you will love this. If you don’t, get off my blog because you aren’t getting anything else until Monday. So go watch it, and leave me alone. I need to go help protest Scientology with Anonymous, and by that I mean uploading more videos to the Vodpod. Maybe I’ll add some Freezecracker stuff too…

Go watch some Gameboys bitch!

Ya so I missed yesterday’s post when I said I wasn’t going to so this time I’m making sure I’m going to do it by doing them both…at the same time!

O-M-G

Anyway first up, yesterday was wednsday so that means

THE SEARCH ENGINE

Anonymous is a “cyber terrorist group” or “Internet Hate Machine” that has been on the internet for awhile, but mostly chan sites. Their hobbies include stealing seven of your passwords and blowing up your yellow van. Also they really like steroids. It improves their hacking skills to over 9000. They apparentely got bored with that though so they’ve decided to take a crack at Scientology. Scientology is a religion, though many (everyone) have marked it as a, started by L. Ron Hubbard to siphon money and man power from idiotic celebrities such as Tom Cruise, as well as separating families and just being dicks in general. Well if you have been paying attention to the “Youtubez” you may have noticed several messages from Anonymous directed specifically at Scientology, announcing a non-violent war on the religion. They have followed up this series of videos transmissions by hacking a major Scientologist website as well as several protests outside of Scientology churches worldwide. They donned mask and other attire to hide their faces in accordance with a code of conduct , also sent out in a video message, to send a message to the world that they will not tolerate this religion’s practices any longer. I for one commend them for their efforts. Awesome News Action News Channel Action Team sends our best wishes out to you Anonymous. Watch out for dogs guys. They’re dangerous.

Check out the Anonymous videos on youtube, or on my Vodpod. I’ll try to keep it current with new videos.

Or check out this very informative flash movie on Albino Blacksheep.

Or go to Xenu TV for even more videos.

AwesomeTube

Kit and not David Hasselhoff are back, and premiering in a mini series movie whatever the hell it is thing on NBC this Sunday. Also it’s on at 9 eastern standard time. And that’s all I know. I didn’t want to spoil anything. I guess that means the short end of the stick for you guys. Tough shit aye? Well too bad. You ain’t getting nothin’ out of me. And damnit I gave you that Anonymous article and those vids, that’s hot shit go watch that. I mean damn dude, you got Extreme Action tomorrow too anyway. And then Knight Rider of the weekend! I’m basically giving you a whole 3 days of fun filled activities! So get off my back and maybe I’ll do a review of it this weekend, just for you. I know you don’t deserve it, and you really really don’t. But we here at the Action 5 News Awesome Action Channel Team are generous and kind people, so we’ll do it anyway. Until then go watch that trailer until it it burned into your mind, K?

We are the Awesome Channel Action Channel Team
We are one dude on a Dell.
We do not forgive without bribes.
Also we forget a lot of things.
Expect us.
To not put up posts on time.

NEWS YOU CARE ABOUT, WEEKS BEFORE THE OTHER GUYS!

M&Ms. When you think of chocolate, they are probably not the first candy that comes to mind. And if they are, shut the *AWESOME* up. It’s my blog and I’m right. Anyway. The M&M Corporation quite possibly has one of the worst candies on the market today, and it knows it. Every other week it releases a new “Limited Time Flavor” in hopes or winning back the general populous. This weeks flavor just happens to be Cherry, because lord knows how much I want smashed up cherries in my chocolate. This rare candy is no small taste to track down either. Due to the “Limited Timeness” of the chocolate lobes of crap, it took all of the News Action Channel News Awesome Team to secure a single bag. In fact, the rare treat is valued on eBay for over 5 US dollars! The quest was indeed daunting, but I did it all for journalistic integrity and you the reader. Yes, the task was difficult and the expenses were extensive, I even had to take the life of a child; but finally I was able to hold my head up high as the sweet sensation of victory washed over me.

Also, if you haven’t noticed, there wasn’t a news post yesterday. That is due mostly to my computer committing suicide because the other computers called it a fat slut because it has little memory left and all of it’s USB ports are in constant use. Thankfully I made it to the ER in time and it is now restrained so that it cannot attempt to take it’s own life with a kitchen knife. Thus the computer will have to live the rest of it’s life in complete isolation while the painful fact of life slowly pulls it into an endless void of depression and insanity. And there is going to be a second news post later tonight.

Oh, and those M&Ms taste like shit. Don’t *AWESOME* buy them.

Just wanted to do a quick post to say that I have moved Awesome News at 5′ GO! from Blogger to WordPress and I couldn’t be happier. I got a few links now, I could make some pages if I wasn’t lazy, there’s some Mega64 videos on the side since I don’t feel like finding anything else. Overall it was a great choice, I think. This should help me keep the blog much more organize and well, better. Hopefully a not shit post up later this evening. I’m out.