I Shouldn’t Have to Explain This

Super Smash Bros. Brawl comes out tomorrow. Gentlemen, please gaze upon one of the few Wii games you will still be playing several years from now. This software we are about to receive is no mere videogame, it is the life support that will be keeping the Wii alive for hardcore gamers in the coming month. You will buy this game, and you will *AWESOME!* enjoy it. It may be bad, but millions of copies will be sold and that won’t really matter. Perhaps, you do not own a Wii. If you have a 360, why not put down the *AWESOME!* Halo 3 and try something that isn’t boring. Call of Duty 4, Mass Effect, Orange Box? All great games, and you have just tossed them out the window like they were bad PS2 ports. I’m disgusted with you. But what about the PS3 gamers? Well, you could keep playing Warhawk whilst day dreaming about the cotton candy wonderland of joy and wonder you console will become in the coming months. LittleBigPlanent? MGS4? FFXIII? Maybe that will cheer you up. So go buy Smash Bros., and be happy. Or don’t. Just sit there alone in the dark with your headset on mute, wondering why your friends list has suddenly been abandoned. You know why? Because they aren’t cheap *AWESOME!* who aren’t willing to shell out $250 for what was at one point in time the future of gaming.

Also, I’m going to film the Brawl launch on a shitty cellphone that has a thirty second record time. Should be fun.

Also, yes. That is the only good midnight launch picture I could find. You’d think there would be a lot of good ones, but there aren’t.

Shit.

I don’t know what to tell you two guys that read this, I really don’t. We here at the Action Team News searched high and low for worthy TeeVee/Movies for your viewing pleasure. Regretfully, we found nothing of the sort. You could, of course, still go to the movies to see the riveting tales of Semi-Pro or Be Kind Rewind. Though, I suppose that having ten dollars in your wallet would be much more satisfying. And think of it this way. Smash Bros. comes out this weekend right? Huh? Maybe that will cheer you up? Perhaps you could reward yourself with some ice cream for being a well informed consumer. And, if Comcast is your cable provider, you could celebrate standing outside a cold GameStop for several hours with a special presentation of Soul Train on the CW.

Well that’s all for now Action Viewers, perhaps tomorrow’s update won’t be at 12 AM the following day.

He Put the Mann in Man

Ok this is old, but you know what. Shut up. I was gone and this is important to me. And to you, the loyal reader. That needs to stop talking.

Last year, former editor of GameSpot.com was fired due to unannounced reasons. Although noting was ever really revealed about Gerstman’s departure, everyone decide to blame it on Kane & Lynch and call CNet a bunch of money grubbing suits. Although Gerstmann currently isn’t involved in any professional work in the gaming industry currently, he does have several outlets for his awesome style of reporting. One of these is his blog at JeffGerstmann.net, which is a educational and informative look at Jeff’s take on the industry…sometimes.

The reason this article exists though is to inform you of Jeff’s new podcast, Arrow Pointing down. Along with fellow GameSpot employees, Gerstmann rigged up a Skype chat and recorded for ninety minutes while they talked about games or something. It is now an extremely popular and successful podcast that you should all listen to. Now go to ArrowPointingDown.com and try to not think about why I didn’t write a more informative article about this subject.

Awesome Action News Channel News Action signing out.

Ok, Let Me Explain

I’ve been gone for awhile two people who read this, as you have probably noticed. There is an explanation though. You see, there is a product known as Steam. This product, is software available on the interent. A service which you are using at this very moment.

Still following? Good.

You see, while you have to go to a store such as GameStop or Walmart to purchase games, I can do it at home from the comfort of my PC. Ingenious, no? And did I mention the part where there is no tax? Oh, what a crafty consumer I am indeed.

Now comes the important part.

There is a videogame, known as Team Fortress 2. This game is a shooter, or FPS as they are known in the industry. This particular FPS can be played online, with other people. The interesting part about this magnificent piece of data, is it’s unique ability to inflict an absurd side effect on my hardrive. It causes the computer to spew out drug laded gases, much like a bong, so that I cannot leave it’s glowing screen. A powerful marketing strategy, no?

Short version, I’m addicted to TF2.

Updates soon…hopefully.

Random Image Weekend #1

It’s the weekend. So here’s a pickle.